tonight is moist, warm air, twinkling fireflies, crackling fireworks, laughter, a glass of bubbly in my hand. the sharp scent of sulfur coating the air is a tale of classic, simple joy. tonight i am all at once nostalgic, content, and yearning for the beautiful years of life that are yet to come.
just a year ago, i sat beneath a fireworks show on my favorite day of the year. seated with me was family, their toddler passing between laps, finally settling into his mother's arms as he leaned into the sights above with wide, bright eyes. i cradled my round belly, wanting so badly to hold my own babe in the same manner. i wished it so badly i bit back tears. i remember mentally flashing forward to the next year, when my own son, now nearly a year old, could sit cradled in my lap. i was so filled with the desire to play with and share my favorite things with this child i carried, to build for him a childhood of wonder, freedom, and love-so much love.
today is that year! today, i feel myself as i was then. i feel myself from behind my childhood eyes. i feel myself here and now, in moments made longer, slowed and stretching between the pops of the lights above and unadulterated laughter below. today time has made me its friend, as it threatens to become my enemy tomorrow. today, i am happy.