a burst of color after the grey. that is what today day has been. my rainbow, after the latest of my mental storms.
it's been a rough few weeks over here. not by any physical measure; the days have been fine. good, even. my job is wonderful. aidric fills my heart to bursting every single day. i have the most supportive, loving family in the world. it's only been in my head. and that's the hardest thing in the world for me to admit. but today. oh, beautiful today. today sliced through the wall of ice and thorns that has been growing, for no particular reason, around my mind as of late. today was one that felt like magic. one that was nothing short of ordinary, but so exquisitely and wonderfully so. i've been missing, separated from myself, for some time now. but today, i woke up with my own mind, no wall keeping me from myself. today, i could see the simple, joyous beauties of this little life, leaping out at me in every moment. today, i was not so preoccupied looking for myself that i missed the tone of sunlight warming the kitchen, the smell of spices coloring kc's river market, the pull of the string that runs from aidric's heart to mine; tugging when he burrows his curls into the crook of my neck, then throws his his head back to smile at me with his whole face, laughter scrunching those scrumptious cheeks, joyful giggles tumbling out of him, seemingly to fill me up with those big beautiful eyes smiling just for me.
today has been magic. i am scribbling every detail of it onto the recesses of my mind, tucking it into my mind's pocket to pull out and recite during my next mental storm. my hard days are impossible for me to talk about. but i am so lucky, for the good ones are so good, so impossibly good that i can't help but to talk about them.
i could want for nothing more.