some days are tough.
sometimes some turn into many.
some tough days feel numb. some feel unbearably melancholy. some feel as if the hours blurred into minutes. some feel like an eternity you never signed up for.
they're all too familiar. all too frequent. all too discouraging.
i haven't met a tough day i didn't make it through. i haven't yet met one that has failed to convince me that this time, it will last forever.
they feel like a rut. they feel like loneliness. they feel like a defect. like everyone around you is so content with the exact elements of life you have: a career, a family, a home. except, they live for these things, while you feel suffocated by these things.
i love my son. i love my career. and still, i want more. i always want more. this ever present, elusive more has hunted me my entire life. some days i feel like i'm on the verge of having it, others like i've conquered it, by swearing it off and succumbing to the beauty of a 'normal' life.
i'm having a tough day. but this beautiful boy of mine is not. he deserves a normal life and more. and for that, i will keep going. the bad days have a way of fading, be it on their own time. i can only hope that is the way the good days work, too.